


September When It Comes

by sundancekid



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-11
Updated: 2008-01-11
Packaged: 2017-11-10 05:08:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/462530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sundancekid/pseuds/sundancekid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seven years at King's Cross for Teddy Lupin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	September When It Comes

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from the song of the same name by Rosanne Cash and Johnny Cash. Many thanks to [](http://latentfunction.livejournal.com/profile)[**latentfunction**](http://latentfunction.livejournal.com/), not just for the fantastic beta but for not killing me after the eleventy billionth email asking, "What do you think of this idea?" in the past few weeks. ♥

_I plan to crawl outside these walls  
Close my eyes and see  
And fall into the heart and arms  
Of those who wait for me_ \-- "September When It Comes," Rosanne Cash and Johnny Cash

1.

Teddy pushes the cart, which is taller than he is, through the crowds of King's Cross. It's September first, and he is eleven years old. Today, he goes to Hogwarts for the first time.

Gran stays right next to him, but he insisted on pushing the cart himself. It carries his trunk, and on top of that, the cage that houses his owl, Harry. Harry the person gave him the Harry the owl when Teddy was six, and Teddy named the owl after Harry. Now he wishes he'd come up with a cooler name for his pet.

Harry walks next to Gran, and Ginny, Ron, and Hermione trail behind, wrangling toddlers and babies along, too. Teddy likes the kids, mostly -- sure, they're loud and messy, but they're like his brothers and sisters. Harry is the coolest person Teddy knows, and he's glad that he's there. Teddy can't help but think that it will impress all the other kids, Harry Potter standing there, waving goodbye to him as the train pulls away.

Ginny catches up to him, holding a squirming two-year-old Lily in her arms. "You'll do great," she says, smiling, and Teddy appreciates that she's not asking him if he's nervous, like Gran keeps doing. He sometimes pretends that Harry and Ginny are his parents; he doesn't remember his own at all. He feels guilty about that now, and in his trunk, he has three framed photos -- one of his dad and his mates (including Harry's dad) at school, their seventh year, laughing, arms thrown around each other; one of his mum the day she graduated Auror training, beaming, laughing, and waving her certificate at the camera; and one of his parents, looking tired but deeply happy, holding him, just a few hours after he was born. He knows he'll get his own bed and table, and he's going to put all three photos on his table, along with the photo of him and Harry at the Quidditch World Cup two years ago, and the one of Gran.

And earlier that morning, Harry had given him the Marauder's Map, explained how it works, told him his dad helped make it, and Teddy's been thinking. And he's glad his mum and dad are his mum and dad, even if he can't remember them. There's a picture of them in the living room -- a photograph from their wedding, and they're smiling and laughing, and Mum's hair is bright pink. Whenever Teddy looks at the picture, he turns his own hair pink, trying to get closer to her.

Teddy feels the map in his pocket, and recites the things he knew about his parents, as he sometimes does to calm himself down, or cheer himself up: his dad was a prefect, but he snuck out of school all the time; he was a werewolf, ever since he was little; he loved his best mates. His mum was a Metamorphmagus, just like him; she was clumsy, curious, and friendly; she was an Auror, which she wanted to be her whole life. They both died fighting.

When he was little, Ron would sometimes come up behind him, sweep him up in his arms, and toss him in the air. Teddy loved this game; Ron always said that someday, he wouldn't catch Teddy, and he'd have to grow wings. Teddy knew he didn't really mean it, but wings would be pretty cool; he's been practicing for years, with no luck yet. Ron doesn't do it anymore, and Teddy is mostly glad, because he's not a baby anymore. But today, he sort of wishes Ron would. He's more nervous than he'd care to admit, and he's missing the things he's always counted on, now that he's losing them.

But Ron only claps him on the shoulder, says, "You'll want to be Gryffindor, right? Your dad was."

"Or Hufflepuff, like his mother," Gran says, raising an eyebrow at Ron. "Honestly, Gryffindors. So impressed with themselves."

Teddy grins, but secretly he does want to be a Gryffindor. Like Harry, like his dad. He sees the things he got from his mother – every time he looks in the mirror, at his turquoise hair, every time he accidentally drops a plate on the way to the table, he sees his mum. But he's not even sure what his normal face looks like, really, and he can't see what he got from his dad. He's glad he's not a werewolf, but he wants some kind of link. He pats the map in his pocket.

"Bye now, Teddy," Gran says, kissing his cheeks. "I packed you a lunch, but there's some Galleons in there too -- I daresay you'll want to buy some candy." Teddy grins -- he's already looking forward to buying some Chocolate Frogs; they've been his favorites ever since Ron turned him onto collecting when he was eight.

He finds an empty compartment in the middle, and says goodbye to Gran as she starts to cry. Impulsively, he throws his arms around her; he wanted to look cool, but he can't let Gran _cry_. She squeezes back until Teddy has to pry himself loose so that he can breathe again.

"I love you," he whispers. They always whisper _I love you_ ; Teddy can't remember why, if he ever even knew, but they do. It's their thing. Gran smiles, her eyes still shiny with tears, and whispers, "I love you too."

Ginny and Hermione hug him too, and Harry and Ron shake his hand (Harry clasps his back with his other arm), and then, all too soon, he's on the train, Harry in his cage on the next seat, his heart in his throat, and the train's slowly pulling away, and then his family, his lovely, odd, unrelated family, his whole world, is just a blur in the distance.

 

 

2.

This year, Teddy almost wishes Gran, Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione wouldn't come with. It's just that he's twelve now, he knows how to do this, he doesn't need an escort. He lost his last baby tooth in July; he's practically a grownup. He's meeting his mates on the platform -- Gran wouldn't let him go to Diagon Alley by himself to meet them. It's been a good summer – spending time with Gran, Quidditch with Harry, Ron, and Ginny, even a trip to visit Neville (Professor Longbottom during the term) in Greece, where he was working with cool plants that could kill you. He finished all his homework, and Hermione helped him with one especially tricky essay, and gave him some extra tutoring in Charms, his weakest subject.

He was glad to be home, but now he's ready to go back. His prefect told him that after awhile, Hogwarts starts to feel like home and home starts to feel like a hotel, and Teddy didn't see how that could ever be, but sure enough, by the end of the summer he was itching to get back to his bed, back to Hogwarts dinners (Gran's a great cook, but _no one_ 's a better cook than the elves), back to his routine. He didn't tell Gran he felt that way, though.

They run into Alan in Diagon Alley, and Alan's parents leave there, before he gets on the train. His dad is someone important at the Ministry -- Alan's not really sure what he does -- and has a meeting. Gran smoothes Alan's hair, says, "Don't worry, love, we'll get you off safe and sound," and Alan looks glad.

There's no less ceremony this year than last year, but instead of gawking at all the other kids (most of whom were so _big_ ), this year Teddy recognizes nearly everyone. He's waving at other Gryffindors, the Hufflepuffs he has Transfiguration with, even the Ravenclaw prefect who helped him find his way to Herbology the first week.

"I love you," he whispers to Gran, squeezing her hand.

"I love you too, Teddy," she whispers, dabbing at her eyes. "You're a good boy. Have a good year."

He says his goodbyes all around (Gran and Ginny even both hug Alan, and Alan looks embarrassed and pleased), and they clamber on board at the last minute. As the train rolls away, Teddy slumps down and exhales deeply.

"Back to the castle, then," Alan says cheerfully. "It was a good summer, but all said, I'm glad to be going back."

Teddy looks out at his family, waving frantically. He waves back. "Me too."

 

 

3.

Teddy is thirteen and he tries to pretend that it's not exciting to go back to Hogwarts, that the train is no big deal. He tries to look cool. He's ready to get back to his dormitory, back to his classes, back to his friends. Alan came to visit for a while, but it's not the same without all the guys.

As always, Gran, Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione accompany him to the platform, surrounded by kids -- more every year, it seems. Teddy thinks Ginny is probably the most beautiful girl in the whole world. He doesn't remember his parents at all, and when he was little he sometimes used to wish Harry and Ginny were his parents, but this summer, he has been very glad that's not the case. He can't even look at her without his hair turning red -- the equivalent of blushing, for him -- but Ginny always pretends she doesn't notice. They all do, except for Ron, who can't help but laugh. Hermione sometimes smacks him for it, and Teddy is always secretly grateful.

His first two years at Hogwarts, he mostly left his hair brown, because he didn't want to attract too much attention. But this year, he's going with turquoise blue -- it's always been his preferred hair color, as long as he can remember. He knows it's not his "natural" hair color, but it's the one that feels most like him. That always makes Gran sniffle -- his mum preferred pink, and she says their refusal to look like humans are supposed to look is one of the ways they're alike, which always makes Teddy grin.

He spots Eric on the platform and waves as hard as he can. Eric comes running, his Muggle parents trotting to keep up with them, looking nervous.

"Your hair!" Eric says. "It's _cool_ , Ted." Teddy wants to be called _Ted_ now; it's so much more mature. Teddy is trying very hard to be mature.

As always, there are hugs and tears from Gran, hugs without tears from Ginny and Hermione, and manly handshakes from Harry and Ron. Teddy doesn't mind so many people coming this year; it's like a party, instead of all these adults coming to get him safely on the train. He just wishes Gran wouldn't cry.

" _Bye_ , Gran," he says, trying to hint that it's really time for them to go. She just ignores him and keeps dabbing at her eyes with her handkerchief.

Finally, they're loading his things on the train, and he and Gran whisper "I love you" and gets his last hugs from everyone, and then they're leaving, Gran talking to Eric's father, Hermione to his mother. Teddy and Eric relax onto their seats, and Alan finds them after a few minutes. They spend the train ride north laughing and talking, playing with Alan's new set of Gobstones, trading Chocolate Frog cards. They talk endlessly about the new courses they'll be taking, what they'll be like.

Nowadays, it feels like the real year is the time he spends at Hogwarts, and summers are just a break from his actual life.

 

 

4.

Teddy stands on the platform, scanning the crowds for his friends. He grew three inches this summer, and he's taller than Harry now, though he thinks he'll never be taller than Ron. He looks lean and stretched out in the mirror, not enough extra weight yet for his new height. His trunk is packed with the same supplies, but new robes and books. The same photos he always brings lay wrapped in socks and T-shirts.

In July, he looked at the date on the photo of his parents at their wedding, did some counting, and realized he was already on his way when it was taken. He feels weird about that, and he wants to talk to Harry about it, but hasn't had the courage, yet. He knows his parents loved each other, and he knows they loved him, because everyone says so. But it feels funny in his stomach, to think that maybe the only reason they got married is because of him -- he's heard about these things -- and he doesn't want that, doesn't want to be the reason that his parents got married. He wants them to have done it because they loved each other.

This year, he's going to try out for the Quidditch team. He tried out last year, but he was smaller and slower than the others, and didn't make it. He's worked on his Quidditch all summer -- every day by himself for at least two hours, and then three-hour practices, three times a week, with Ginny (and he even learned not to drop the ball just because she said his name, which took half the summer), and sometimes Harry and Ron, too. He's going to make Chaser this year, he knows it. His broom -- a birthday gift from Ron and Hermione -- is stashed in his trunk, carefully wrapped. It's the newest model, the Nimbus 3000, and, Teddy's proud that he's probably the only one in the whole school who has one already.

It seems to take longer, this year, to get on the train. He just wants to _go_ , to get away from the family that doesn't make any sense, bound together by nothing real, like blood or names. To get away from the family that isn't really a family at all. Gran is really his family, but his truest family, his parents, are long since dead. Teddy loves Harry and Hermione and all the Weasleys very much, but they are not really his family. They don't owe him anything.

He shifts his weight and mentally wills Hermione to hurry as she frets about whether they practiced his Charms enough this summer, because he is ready to go. Hogwarts is home now, and these people are _embarrassing_ him, with Gran actually opening his trunk to make sure he has enough socks, and Ron, telling an inappropriate story that Teddy would really like hear some other time when they're not in the middle of King's Cross.

"Everything OK, Teddy?" Harry asks, quietly. Teddy jumps slightly; he hadn't realized Harry was standing right next to him.

"Yeah, fine," he mutters. Can't talk about it here, now, with so few minutes left.

"You can always write me," Harry says. "And if you want to talk, well, I can come up for a Hogsmeade weekend, or, well, Neville will let us use the fire in his office. I mean," he said, scratching the back of his head and grinning, "it's not strictly allowed..."

Teddy smiles a little, but this idea doesn't seem as tempting as it might once have. "Sure, Harry. I'll write you." He can hear the insincerity in his voice.

Harry frowns, and says only, "Anytime, Ted. We're family, we're always here for you."

Teddy opens his mouth -- to thank him? to disagree? he isn't even sure -- when Gran bustles up and forcibly shoos him onto the train. The last whistle is blowing, and there's a mad scramble to get him on board, to get the trunk and owl on too, and say goodbyes. Teddy doesn't even get to whisper "I love you" to Gran on the platform; she leans up to him, and he leans out his window after he's already on the train.

It starts to rain not ten minutes after the train has pulled out of the station; Teddy rolls up his window. By then, Alan and Eric have found him, and they play Exploding Snap on the way up. Teddy loses both eyebrows because he can't focus.

 

 

5.

"Well, have a safe trip," Gran says, a bite of annoyance in her voice. They've fought constantly, all summer, and Teddy knows she is somewhat relieved to see him go. He spent much of the summer at Harry's -- went through two bottles of Floo powder -- when things got too much at home. Harry was very good at letting Teddy go on at some length about the injustices of the world in general, though he had little patience for Teddy's complaints about his grandmother in particular. Harry has a look -- a raised eyebrow -- that makes Teddy feel guilty for complaining about _anything_ , because it's always easier than Harry's life. He once admitted this to Ginny, who laughed and said she sometimes felt the same pang ("totally unfair when I'm mad at him," she said, and it made Teddy feel a little better).

He didn't make prefect, and it has created a bitterness inside him. Remus was a prefect. In his head, he's taken to calling them _Tonks_ and _Remus_ , instead of _Mum_ and _Dad_ , because he's fifteen and they're dead. Even Harry saying, "Well, I didn't make it either," didn't really help, because Harry was sort of busy saving the world at the time, and Teddy's not doing anything of the sort. He hasn't even made much of a show at Quidditch; of the three Chasers on the Gryffindor team, he's the worst.

He almost didn't bring his photos, but it would have raised questions, so he packs them anyway. They look different this year -- Tonks at her graduation looks hopelessly young and naïve (Teddy's just learned the word _naïve_ , and he's very fond of declaring people it), his parents' wedding looks like a sham, and the picture of Remus and his mates -- well, it's a joke, isn't it? One will be dead in two years; one will betray the others; one will spend twelve years in prison, only to spend three years in hiding before being killed by his cousin; one will spend his adulthood starving and unwelcome in polite society, and will knock up his (much, much younger) girlfriend, abandon her, and die before his son's even a year old. Some friends.

Teddy is angry, all the time, and even if he sometimes recognizes that his anger is out of proportion to the events, it doesn't decrease. Sometimes he is so angry, at everything and everyone, that it threatens to swallow him. He _wants_ , blindly, madly, and it is never enough. He eats enough for three grown men every day, has for months, and he's always hungry. He sleeps for ages and he's always tired. Gran says it's puberty, but all Teddy knows is that he can't stand the frenetic pace of his own mind and body much longer.

He and Gran squabble right up till the train pulls away, and when he glances back, she looks tired, old. He hardly thinks of her as his _grand_ mother, and for a minute his heart contracts with sadness; he, as much as time, has caused her slumped shoulders, her gray hair.

But his heart releases, and he stretches out across the seats. He can sleep the whole way there.

 

 

6.

Teddy really wanted to come to King's Cross by himself, but Harry wouldn't hear of it. Harry's the only one there; Ginny's with the kids, Hermione's at work, and Ron's at home sleeping, like Harry ought to be. Gran's at home, presumably.

Teddy's been staying at Harry's since mid-July; he Flooed to his mate Eric's without telling Gran, and when he came home the next day, she was angrier than Teddy had ever seen, or imagined she could be. She was paper white, the veins in her cheeks prominent and dangerous, and her voice was so low he had to stretch to hear her say, _Do you have any idea how worried I've been?_

It was only then that it clicked for Teddy, how for Gran, missing family members always mean death, and he felt sort of horrible for doing that to her, but also angry. His parents are _dead_ , and they have been dead for _years_ , and the war is _over_ , and God, Gran, learn to lighten up! You can't take your irrational worries out on me, you can't keep me locked up forever! I'm not my mum!

She kicked him out. When he was done yelling himself hoarse about the injustice of paying for his parents' many mistakes, she'd said -- deathly calm -- that if he wasn't going to abide by her rules, he wasn't going to stay under her roof. It had stunned Teddy, rocked him to the core, the idea that Gran had a limit, and he'd just found it, but he'd just said -- trying to match her calmness, and mostly managing -- that if she wanted it that way, then fine. He'd packed and Flooed out and ten minutes later, he was sitting in Harry and Ginny's kitchen, breathing great gulps of air, feeling like he was drowning. Harry talked to Gran through the fire in the other room, and after ages he came back into the kitchen and said, gravely, that Teddy could stay with them. He had never looked less happy to see Teddy.

It was a tense summer. James got dragon pox and was absolutely awful over it, whining _all the time_ and Ginny was pretty frazzled with work (she took the job at the _Prophet_ , so she was always Apparating to games all over the country; Teddy's over his crush now, having seen her in full mum mode for so many weeks), and Harry and Ron were gone half the time on some mission as Aurors, so Teddy was often asked to look after Lily and Albus, who, while not necessarily _bad_ , were plenty loud. Teddy, the only child, about went out of his mind. It was almost enough to make him go home to Gran. Almost.

So it wasn't a banner summer. He didn't get to practice his Quidditch nearly as much as he'd wanted, and he's a bit nervous about tryouts. He didn't do about half his homework, either, but he's not too fussed about that. He _did_ master Metamorphmagus tattoos, though; they only last about two hours but he's still quite pleased. For his return trip, he's sporting a lion across his upper arm, and he won't put on his robes till it's faded.

Cara Midgen walks by, and Teddy turns, slightly, so she can see his tattoo. But Cara sails right on by without so much as a glance, and Teddy scowls, kicks the ground. His trainers are scuffed and worn, without Gran to insist on buying new ones.

"Well," Harry says, "have a good term, Ted." He hasn't slept in days, and it shows: he's peaky and stretched and pale. But the _Prophet_ 's got the story, they caught their guy last night, and Teddy knows that once the train is gone, Harry'll go home and sleep for days.

Harry shakes Teddy's hand, gives him a fatherly hug that means more to Teddy than he would ever admit, and then Teddy's on the train, and it all feels too soon. He's being pushed by the crowd, and suddenly he has urgent things to say, about Harry and Gran and family, and how much Teddy loves them all, but the train is rolling away, and Harry waves; Teddy tries to shout, but he's too far away now, and he just waves back.

 

 

7.

Teddy pushes the cart through the crowds of King's Cross. It's September first, and he is seventeen years old. Today, he goes to Hogwarts for the last time.

Gran follows next to him, dabbing at her eyes with her handkerchief. Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione follow along, herding their own children through the crowd. James runs alongside Teddy -- he has to run to keep up -- and asks all sorts of questions about Hogwarts. "I'll be starting next year," James announces for at least the twelfth time.

"I know, buddy," Teddy says, grinning. "I'm going to buy you an owl when it's time." In his joy, James stops in his tracks, and doesn't start moving again until Rose collides with him and huffs, "Get _moving_ , James."

" _Really?_ " James asks, as if Teddy might be playing a trick on him.

"Yes, really," he responds, trying not to laugh. "Any one you want."

"Can I -- can I write to you? When I have my owl?" James asks, carefully not looking at Teddy. In the past year, James has started to hero-worship Teddy, which makes Teddy uncomfortable. A few months ago, James managed to get his hands on Harry's wand and tried to dye his hair blue, which resulted in a trip to St. Mungo's. James is fine now, though; his ears grew back just the same as ever.

"Of course, Jim. I'll write to you this year, same as always."

"Me too!" Rose pipes up. "I want a letter too, please."

Teddy's prefect, his third year, said that Teddy wrote more letters than anyone else. Received lots, too, child's drawings and carefully printed scrolls detailing trips to visit family, interesting bugs found, and unfair siblings. They're a lot cuter and less annoying when they're not actually there, and at school, Teddy finds it easier to write back and take their concerns seriously.

As they arrive on the platform, Gran looks up at Teddy -- and when did she get so small, so frail? -- and whispers, "Goodbye, Teddy. I-I love you."

Teddy throws his arms around her, hugs her so hard he lifts her off the ground. "I love you too," he whispers. They worked it out over Christmas; Mrs. Weasley had written to Teddy at school and said that he couldn't come for Christmas dinner unless he brought Gran with him. Teddy thought she was joking, but four days before Christmas, when she dropped by Harry and Ginny's, she physically shoved him through the fire to Gran's, with the order to "not appear in my sight until you've stopped breaking that poor woman's heart." That was the first time Teddy really understood why all the Weasleys were afraid of their mother.

"Put me down, you silly boy," Gran says, but she's laughing, and she kisses his cheek before he sets her down.

Ginny and Hermione give him bigger hugs than usual, and Ron's handshake is firmer than usual. "Good work, Ted," he says. "Mind you study hard, now," he adds with a wink.

Harry hugs him too, unabashedly bear hugs him, right in the middle of the station. Teddy just laughs and hugs him back.

"You remind me of your father," Harry says. "He was a good man, and so are you." Teddy takes this as the compliment it was intended to be; the pictures of his parents are in his trunk, wrapped in T-shirts. He still has questions he'll probably never get answers for, and there are still things he doesn't understand about their choices, their lives. But the people he loves also loved his parents, and that helps.

Suddenly, it seems, they're all saying goodbye, and Teddy gets on the train. James, Albus, and Rose run all the way to edge of the platform to wave him off, and Teddy watches his family, his lovely, odd, unrelated family, until the train turns the corner.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback/con crit greatly appreciated. :D


End file.
